of new faces, places and phases… (part 3)

continued from (Part 1 & Part 2)…

As if my life lacked excitement and drama, something happened between Jewel and me.  Since this is not THAT kind of a blog, I will leave the details to your imagination. (*snickers*) So anyway, the morning after, Jewel and me resumed our lives.  We agreed that what happened was a crazy thing, that it just so happened that we were placed in a situation where things got a little, uh, “gropey”.

Come the next day, I got home really late and Jewel was already asleep. Nothing happened that night.  The following days however, Jewel and I started sending sort of sweet messages to each other.  Okay, okay, I admit it, I started the sweet messages.  I didn’t know why I was sending it, I just felt like it and he would respond the same way. So long story short, something happened again.  We debated about telling my ex J (who again is Jewel’s best friend) about what’s been happening but we were concerned about his reaction.   Then things started getting more complicated.  I was developing feelings for Jewel and I had no qualms telling him about it.  He on the other hand said that he was still trying to sort out his feelings.  Funny thing is, whenever I would tell him that I should stop with whatever’s happening, he would say that he didn’t want me to stop.  Fickle much?

I was starting to feel guilty about not telling J about what’s been happening.  One night, I decided I wanted to tell him already and sent him a message asking him if we could meet up.  Unfortunately, J wasn’t available so I told him we should meet up soon because I needed to tell him something important.  J became concerned and texted Jewel asking if he knew something about what I was going through.  Jewel on the other hand, became very guilty and spilled the beans.

As can be expected, J was very upset about what happened. He sent me a message telling me how disappointed he was and how he didn’t want to talk to me.  The way he worded the text message seemed like he was angry only at me.  I kept thinking “what the hell did Jewel tell him?”.  After a couple of days, i couldn’t take the cold war and drove all the way to J’s house during rush hour traffic and was able to connive with his siblings to stop J when he told them he was going out.

When I was finally able to speak to J, he told me what Jewel told him, which unfortunately confirmed my suspicions.  From the way Jewel recounted the events, it appeared that I started everything, that Jewel didn’t have any feelings for me at all and that I was pressuring him to feel a certain way.  I told J my version of the story and I could see that he was conflicted.  Who was he to believe, his ex or his best friend?  I told him that he should just go ahead and believe Jewel.  I knew what the truth was and I didn’t need to convince him otherwise.

Up until now, J and I are not back to normal.  I treasure our friendship very much and I feels like the crazy thing with Jewel put a strain on the friendship.  I’m sad that things are this way, but I’m crossing my fingers that it will change.  It has to.

To those who think it’s all a bunch of crock, I am living proof that “sex is the best way to ruin a friendship”.  I’m just hoping that ours is a friendship that surpasses these kinds of experiences.

’nuff said.

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